gearholder:

froggos:

run

miraculoustang:

ysera:

daredevans:

ysera:

beauty and the beast but reverse, i kiss the love of my life and she turns into a sick fucking monster and it’s awesome

shrek

never mind post cancelled 

sernacht:

immortaltilyoukillme:

You: it’s his birthday
Me, an intellectual: A young man stands alone in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the

NO

dateanonbinarysuggestion:

Date a nonbinary person who once told you the world was gonna roll you

barryiris:

jeanpaulfarte:

in stories featuring aliens, they’re always like “on my planet this never happens!” or “in my culture, this differs from your human culture.” and that’s neat and all because i like worldbuilding and all that jazz but wouldn’t it be fun if they just. couldn’t do that?

i want a story where humans encounter an alien who frustrates them because they don’t know enough to tell them anything concrete

like humans will ask “tell us about politics in your planet!” and the alien’s all “uh… hold on it’s been a while since i took gov. um….”

“what sorts of plants grow on your planet?”

“i dunno i grew up in the suburbs. they’re like… purple? idk what you want me to say”

“tell us about the culture on your planet!”

“do you have any idea how many fucking countries are back home, i don’t even know where to begin”

“your planet is obviously much more scientifically and technologically advanced than ours. is it possible for you to enlighten us on certain matters concerning space travel, or would that be a form of interference you must avoid?”

“naw it’s cool, it’s just that, um, i’m a philosophy major”

OOH OOH AND

“take me to your leader” 

“…we have like hundreds of leaders like which one? my country’s leader? another country’s leader? the director of our space program? my country’s military leader? my mom??”