Yesterday night was such a great party. The squad, so Vriska, Meenah, Meulin, Nepeta, Feferi, Roxy, Sogay and his bro, and the guy with glasses -maybe John, maybe Jack, nobody knew-, was meeting in a big grey garage called Gary in order to share a raclette. Gary told them French food was amazing, so they decided to give it a try. At the end of the night -well, at the beginning of the morning- it was clear as crystal : French food was the best. The patatoes were so good, and the cheese, oh my god, how could they describe the awesomeness of the cheese ? It was so melting, hot and tasty. The cold of the jam made all even better. It definitly was one of the best meal of their life -and death. Once their bodies were full, they started to bingedrinking. It didn’t take a while for everybody to be drunk as fuck. So, as always when they were drunk, they ended up in pjs, cosplaying silly stuff as the sun and the wind or the astrology signs. Then the stupid stuff really began. Sogay was kissing his bro like if they would never see each other again, Roxy was rolling in the roof in her really long pink and purple scarf screaming that she was a taco and Feferi was swimming in the air thanks to some magic. In the corner, Meulin and Nepeta were roleplaying cats. Well, no. Actually, they were cats : meowing, purring and being cute. Vriska was talking with Gary of how hot and beautiful her girlfriend, Meenah, was. Gary was just laughing with the glasses-guy without really listening to her, even if he agree : Meenah was such a hottie. And this hottie suddenly came and take Vriska’s hand to took her outside. The moon was full and all the stars visible, but the lesbians didn’t care at all as they were already kissing. Then, there’re this huge black out and none of them remember what happens. But the day was here, so it was time to write this fucking chapter or the crazy fans of homostuck would cry and die -well, actually it could be fun, but the squad wanted to do a chapter.
meenah : hell0 mY n@me is mina @nD I write fUnnY cuz its homostuck nobodY c@res lol
vriska : they know they’re reading this shit since the begining girl
meenah : yeAh maYb3 buT I l0v writiNg fuNNy stfu
vriska : anyway this chapter is about us cuz we’re the best
meenah : yeAA@@aah
vriska : stahp
meenah : ok sorry
The reader -you, hello, you’re pretty ohmagad!- was supposed to interact and stuff but the writer doesn’t want to. But you can imagine you have a role to play. Or not. Do as you want actually.
After the raclette-party, Meenah and Vriska were walking down the street, singing and enjoying their awesome hair.
vriska : hiiiii my hair is so cooool look!
meenah : you know I’m the one who’ve done it, right?
vriska : no
meenah : what?
vriska : its not your work, I just came back from a time travel and I’ve done it myself. To myself.
meenah : it doesn’t make sens
vriska : ….. we’re in homostuck
meenah : oh, right. I forgot. My mistake.
Vriska was wondering how Meenah could have forgotten, but then she remembered : it’s homostuck. Everyone’s dead. Nothing makes sens. Nobody cares. Nobody reads this shit, actually, except crazy gay people. Sorry, reader. But it’s quite true. This thing about aliens? And trolls? And characters who are here twice? I don’t know why I’m still writing about this. It’s just fucked up. Anyway, I’ve got a story to tell.
Sooooo : the girls were walking, thinking about going back to the ship and burgling other ships because they’re the best pirates -and the hottest, and the gayest, and the craziest. But THEN some creepy guy leaped from the bushes (like, the plant, not several Bush, ya know) and reached out so as to stole something to Vriska! But the blue pirate was too fast for him, she took his arm and broke it. The guy fainted, so she and Meenah just took him with them in the ship. It’s in the middle of the space-ocean than the guy opened his eyes -his eye, actually, one of them was gone.
vriska : wtf did you want to do to me?!
creepy guy : I’m not gonna tell you whore.
meenah : HOW DO YOU JUST CALLED MY GF???
vriska : calm down, he didn’t meant it. *to the guy* Tell you didn’t meant it or she’s gonna kill you, I swear.
creepy guy : But I mean-
meenah : *took a gun*
creepy guy : I mean it was affectionate.
meenah : it really wasn’t, don’t do it again.
creepy guy : I won’t.
vriska : cool. no tell me why you were in this bush.
creepy guy : OMG HOW DID YOU KNOW GEORGE AND I WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP IT SECRET???
vriska : what
meenah : what
creepy guy : what
What. No, more seriously -if homostuck can be serious ahah. The creepy guy wasn’t that creepy anymore but the name fitted him. For the record : he loved this surname and kept it after that. Anyway. Vriska really wanted to know what the fuck this guy wanted to do to her.
vriska : I really want to know what the fuck you wanted to do to me.
creepy guy : okay you’re really hot so I’m gonna tell you.
meenah (from the background) : SHE’S GAY AND TAKEN.
vriska : wtf meenah don’t tell my secret to anyone.
meenah : everybody knows.
vriska : well maybe he doesn’t.
creepy guy : I do.
meenah : see?
vriska : stfu both of you.
creepy guy : ……..
vriska : ……..
creepy guy : ……..
vriska : except you I want to know.
creepy guy : oh, sorry. I wanted to stole you your uterus.
vriska : oh, okay. You know that I don’t have one?
creepy guy : what? why?
vriska : well, I’m a troll, so I’m not like human so I guess I haven’t an uterus. Actually I’m not sure I never take a look.
meenah : was it all you wanted?
creepy guy : yea.
vriska : well I guess you can leave so. I’m gonna untied you and we’ll leave you in the next planet. Is it okay?
creepy guy : sure! Thank you so much!
vriska : it’s nothing, really. You’re nice.
In the next planet, the girls leave the guy, and gave him some cakes and patatoes because they told him about the raclette. It was moving and stuff, but they promised each other to meet again. And that’s how this story end. Because actually it wasn’t supposed to be that long and stuff the writer was just bored in sociology.
THE END
Kind of based on this awesome art.
A story about gay aliens lesbians pirates