chemicalartpirate:

Fun post.

So basically, last year, a little after I came out as pansexual/panromantic, I began to feel like I must not really be pan because of a combination of: gender preferences I have, the typical greater representation of bisexuality, and the many many posts claiming that people claim a sexuality in order to be cool. I feared I was one of those people, but I didn’t say anything. I was attached to the label pan, but I was scared it was to be cool, and I was scared that maybe I just felt that I was pan because I had never been in a relationship. It was a really dark time for my mind. I was also really scared I wasn’t pansexual because when a woman told me that she had a bit of a crush on me, I was not into her and turned her down. I feared I had done so because I’m not into women (a result of our culture where we assume that turning someone we like as a person and friend down implies that one doesn’t like their gender. I myself might disagree with that, but that doesn’t mean my mind won’t have absorbed that kind of logic).

And then one day I was talking to a friend of mine who is straight, and we were joking about her dating a woman, and when I made it more realistic, she looked at me seriously and was like what the fuck, no. I’m not dating a woman. I’m not lesbian. I’m not into the woman identity.

And that’s when it hit me. I’m fine with literally every single gender identity when it comes to relationships, when it comes to sexuality. I don’t honestly have a preference when it comes to that shit, I just want someone I connect with cuddle with, and can have some form of romantic and/or sexual relationship with.

Having that epiphany that I really am pansexual helped me understand sexuality a lot more. I used to always be like “well, I don’t think anyone’s straight, per say”. But I understand heterosexuality a lot more in understanding pansexuality more. 

It’s incredibly important to recognize the negative effects certain aspects of our society can have on people. People can joke about sexuality so freaking much, and say “well, it’s just a joke man! don’t be a killjoy”. But these jokes have serious effects on people. They make people feel bad about being who they are, no matter how light and joking someone is. When someone says that lesbians must be that way because a guy turned them down, it affects how people think. It’s not funny, it’s cruel, and it affects more than just you and your gang of homies.