your horoscope in 5 words
Aries:
a snail is following you
Taurus:
please protect boobs and ass
Gemini:
you will slip on piss
Cancer:
memes are so 2009 lmao
Leo:
rawr rawr imma lion bitch
Virgo:
poked yourself in the eye
Libra:
sorry about your foot, libra
Scorpio:
why did father leave me
Sagittarius:
sadly you cannot eat grass
Capricorn:
generally okay with elastic bands
Aquarius:
i'm too hot, hot damn
Pisces:
do not pay with money