stuffjeevesloves:

hIn a rather shocking turn of events, a schism has started opening between the asexual/aromantic communities of Tumblr, and the LGBT+ communities of Tumblr. I’ve seen some shit floating around in the great toilet bowl of the Internet saying that aces/aros shouldn’t be considered a part of the LGBT+ community because asexuals and aromantics aren’t oppressed. I’ve also seen some even worse comments saying that aces/aros shouldn’t be considered part of the LGBT+ community because historically, we haven’t been.

First, I wanna quickly flush away that second turd, because shit, here I was thinking we’re all trying to work together to get our own identities recognised and leave old heteronormative/binary ways of thinking behind, but apparently not! The LGBT+ movement has some solid history behind it, now, so it should stop evolving and stay rooted where it is, of course! No more pushing the boundaries of perception or acceptance.

Yeah, fuck that. The LGBT+ community I support is a living, breathing entity which should understand the perspectives of everyone knocking on its door. Not some dusty old brick wall with a ‘Members Only’ sign hanging on it.

Now, that slightly more complex matter of oppression. A tricky one, for sure, because oppression is a subjective creature. What feels like a living hell to one person may look like a walk in the park to others. We’re all affected by different things in different ways, which is why it’s so hard sometimes to empathise with someone else’s situation.

This is why it’s so disappointing that select members of the LGBT+ community — a group who have fought against oppression so heavy it’s a textbook milestone in recent history — are choosing to turn their backs on asexuals and aromantics, in a similar fashion, dare I say, to how some homophobic people may choose to turn their backs on members of the LGBT+ community.

The label of ‘asexuality’ is something I only adopted over the past year. It gave me some comfort, because it explained some shit that had happened previously in my life. Then came a fresh set of challenges, because, yes, being asexual offers up its own little menu of pressing and hurtful moments. Asexual oppression is a thing that very much exists.

I am not dismissing the problems anyone is facing. I am not diminishing the oppression anyone is suffering. I am aware there are people in the world enduring worse, but this is what’s affecting us.

At a time when awareness of LGBT people continually and consistently breaks its own records, there’s still next-to-nought recognition of or representation for asexual or aromantic people. I adopted the ‘asexual’ label thinking it’s something I’d just be able to keep quiet — it’s the ‘lack of something’, after all, right? — but society is so steeped in sex, you always end up having to explain. The questions people ask you when you ‘come out’, per se, could sometimes be better, but the real thorn is when people insist you’re going through a phase, there’s something wrong with you, or, the classic, you might be gay.

It’s all starting to seem like a petty squabble over who has the biggest problems to face. That’s bad. It should continue to be a campaign for nothing but universal acceptance and understanding. Forgive me for resorting to a clichéd trope here, but there’s already enough anger, pain, anguish, and hate in the world without kindling the fire through little Iron Man vs. Captain America civil wars inside communities which want the same thing: comfort.

How do we move forward, and do asexuals and aromantics even need to be a part of the LGBT+ community? Not necessarily, but why the fuck not — is there some set of rules? When we all get caught up in the emotional #LoveWins-esque successes — the ripples of acceptance across the globe — do we pull out the Ten Commandments of What Is Love Baby Don’t Hurt Me? No, we fucking celebrate, that’s what we do, because it’s awesome. That little + at the end of LGBT is not finite, and nor should it be.

Right now, aces/aros have a very weak foothold in society. We’re not part of the straight side or the LGBT+ side. We’re stuck in the middle getting harassment from both ends, when there shouldn’t be any form of harassment whatsoever. We’re deemed broken, we’re deemed sick, we’re deemed mentally ill. We’re told it’s something we can, and should, correct. And there are some dark methods of ‘correction’ I don’t even want to mention.

As that weak foothold grows stronger and we start to climb, the oppression will undoubtedly climb with it, and we’ll face fresh challenges. We’d rather not be alone for that, just as any member of the LGBT+ community would rather not be alone when facing oppression. Are we going to knot together and help one another up, or risk falling with nobody to catch us? Your call.

A gargantuan thank-you to everyone in the LGBT+ community who accept asexuals and aromantics as part of the movement.

My Ask box is open for anyone wishing to share their thoughts.

badasszombiespinster:

asexualartists:

Today we’re joined by Rachel (who goes by badasszombiespinster on Tumblr). Rachel is a phenomenal visual artist who specializes in conceptual art. She has a variety of interests including character and creature design. Much of her work is fantasy and scifi based and she has also done some 3D sculpting. Rachel also happens to be a fellow badass feminist (yay!). Her work is absolutely amazing, as you’ll soon see. My thanks to her for taking the time to participate in this interview.

WORK

Please, tell us about your art.

I’m a visual artist, who works mostly in conceptual art! I design characters, creatures and environments (though mostly the two former), in the hopes that I will be able to study Games Art and Design at degree level! I also do my own pieces now and then, including little doodles, that are either fantasy, sci-fi, or animal based (one of my favourite doodles, a cat called Inky, is actually my blog icon). I’ve also done a small amount of 3D work in the programme MudBox.

What inspires you?

My art is influenced and inspired by lots of things, but when it comes to the creatures I design, it boils down primarily to nature. Nature creates some of the freakiest things and some of the most beautiful things you can ever encounter. Nothing I can create will ever match the sheer mass and unique qualities of animals already alive and walking around, but I can draw inspiration from them for my own work. When it comes to characters, well, my and other people’s stances on subjects such as sexism, racism, transphobia, homophobia, etc. has a definite influence on what characters I create. As my political and moral stances have changed over the years my characters have become more diverse, and furthermore more interesting! I want my characters to be engaging, and to break the mold – not to be the same old white, straight, cisgender and primarily male characters you see everywhere in fantasy and sci-fi art.

What got you interested in your field?  Have you always wanted to be an artist?

No, actually, I haven’t always wanted to be an artist. When I was younger, I was determined to be a marine biologist and even pursued scuba diving in this desire, becoming a certified Open Water diver when I was thirteen. Then I realized that open water (no reefs or ocean floor beneath) terrified me; that and I barely passed science. I decided then I was more of a creative, and went for creative writing, no hard-focused on becoming a fantastic author. Then after my first year of A Levels I discovered I hated English Literature (which was necessary to do Creative Writing – something which still bamboozles me a bit), and I actually loved Media Studies, where I was learning all about the male gaze, representation and racism in movies, games and magazines. I was also studying Art and Design at the time because, while I wasn’t considering it for a career choice for a long time, I still enjoyed it and wanted to do more (though the A Level Art and Design course was a bit too academic for me, I still managed to pass!). It was through the two of them, and with the support of my Media Studies teacher, that I first learnt of Games Art and Design, though I didn’t consider it seriously until this year, when I started my Foundation Art and Design course.

Now, I’m surprised I hadn’t learnt of it sooner!

Do you have any kind of special or unique signature, symbol, or feature you include in your work that you’d be willing to reveal?

Unfortunately no! The most I stick on my work is my signature which looks like a weird scribble.

What advice would you give young aspiring artists?

Whatever you do, don’t believe the claptrap that there is no work in Art. This is what I believed for donkeys years and it was actually what made me put off looking into the creative industry for so long! Everyone I knew told me there were no jobs in Art, that people who went on to study it left with no jobs and starved on the street. It wasn’t until I started looking into University with my Art and Media tutors that I realized there was much more diversity of subjects in art that I believed, and all of them could be a possible job, and it was mind-blowing! There is an incredible range of jobs out there for artists – illustrators, graphic designers, costume designers, concept artists, architects, 3D modelers, jewellers; art is such an intrinsic and important part of our culture! It takes up a place in everything from the advertisements on the billboards, to the houses on every street – all of them had an artist at some point behind them, so don’t believe these people who say there’s no jobs there for you! If you’ve got the passion and love for your art, you can find a way to go!

ASEXUALITY

Where on the spectrum do you identify?

Asexual biromantic! I’m not yet certain how I feel about sexual stuff, but for the moment I stand as sex-responsive.

Have you encountered any kind of ace prejudice or ignorance in your field?  If so, how do you handle it?

Generally just the ignorance it exists, but I have encountered a few people who have flat out told me it was a made-up sexuality. I’ve only ever had men say it straight to my face though, and I’d say that was definitely coupled with misogyny. Unfortunately my field of art does generally have a higher ratio of men, particularly white, cisgender, straight men who are usually the ones making the decisions. Thankfully, the numbers of people of other genders and sexualities are starting to increase in the sector and I hope it makes a difference!

As to how I handle it? Social anxiety keeps me from ever really having an argument with them, but I do like sticking asexuality jokes all over their monitors and talking over them whenever a conversation comes up about sexism and homophobia in the media – usually a “screw you I studied this for two damn years” sort of attitude.

What’s the most common misconception about asexuality that you’ve encountered?

There are quite a few misconceptions that I’ve bumped into about asexuality. For a start, a lot of people seem to assume that the term only comes from the “Tumblrs” and is a way to identify ourselves as “special snowflakes” which is demeaning, patronizing and completely wrong. People outside of the ace community also seem to be completely unaware that asexuality is, like all sexualities, a spectrum with a lot of variety, including a variety of romantic attractions (which they seem incapable to separate from sexual attraction; the assumption is usually that all asexuals are automatically aromantic as well) That or the forever unfunny “so you’re a plant” response.

What advice would you give to any asexual individuals out there who might be struggling with their orientation?

It sounds weird, but the Internet is a wonderful tool. Its how I recognized my own asexuality and gave it a name – and no longer felt like I was weird – and gave me access to a much wider community who are more accepting of asexuality. I’m utterly thankful for it. And, if you’re concerned that maybe you’re not ace enough, there are lots of blogs on Tumblr that are super helpful about asexuality and romantic attraction that might be able to help you figure things out (and believe me when I say, you’re ace enough).

About coming out, I can’t say. I have personally never come out to my family, though I do plan to this year (wish me luck!), but I have come out to my friends. If you’re concerned that maybe they won’t understand you, or be nice to you, or even like you anymore, try to prompt some discussion on it first, get their point of view. If they don’t seem accepting, don’t come out to them. Your safety and happiness is top priority, and if people aren’t willing to be kind or accommodating of that, then they don’t need to know. Take care of yourself loves <3

Finally, where can people find out more about your work?

I currently don’t have one set art blog, but I will be setting one up soon! I do have a more casual Tumblr blog, at badasszombiespinster.tumblr.com, and I will occasionally post my doodles and artwork there.

Thank you, Rachel, for participating in this interview and this project. It’s very much appreciated.

@vava-chan-take-over-the-world my dragons! <3

people-are-strxnge:

i’m so done with people saying bisexuality isn’t known, i’ve been knowing bisexuality since i was 9 years old, and i heard about it more than once a week ever since

pansexuality and asexuality is something i had to discover by myself on the internet when i was 18, because nobody knew what is was, or did just never told me it existed, and i felt broken for 18 years

vangoghblock:

Shoutout to the kids that don’t know whether they’re asexual or pansexual cuz they’re just not sure what attraction feels like. You’re valid and important and your hair looks nice today

six-foot-two-phanchild:

aganetah45:

I waited to reblog til i saw asexual. Thank youuu

hidken:

Im really just trying to prove a point to my mother who thinks it is a mental illness

maid-of-heart:

nonbinarysollux:

caikirai:

new-ace-on-the-block:

diggly:

iamnofallenstar:

erikfuckinglensherr:

dullaidan:

what im saying is that bisexuals, pansexual, and asexuals should all join together so we can be in the fictitious trifecta. enough people will say we’re not real and we’ll all converge together in a massive, fierce mass only spoken of in myth.  dont come near us or you too will cease to exist

can we include aromantics?

triforce of fabulousness

There we go, a shield to protect against the negativity

YES

okay but
why would u include aromantics in this when it was talking about sexualities not romantic orientations
why would you not include POLYSEXUALS and then make a different one for panromantics, biromantics, polyromantics and aromantics

?????

I can see why this did not happen yet, as bi, pan, and poly all have the same flag for romantic and sexual, but here is my contribution.

Sucky, as it was done in paint,but usable. 

lamentedcorporal:

The holy trinity of non-existing sexualities.

misandry-mermaid:

veritinme:

wizqevelynart:

beekeepercain:

attdoctor-prophet:

mimicryisnotmastery:

rhaegara:

sex-positive asexuals are people who are willing to have sex.

sex-repulsed asexuals are people who want nothing to do with sex.

sex-neutral asexuals are people who are indifferent about sex.

all types of asexuals do not experience sexual attraction, but that does not define their sex life, nor does it mean their sexuality is invalid.

important important important

*raises hand* I have a question. 

How can an asexual person have sex with someone, if they’re not sexually attracted to them?

An asexual’s body is perfectly functional. It reacts to touch just like anyone else’s, meaning, an asexual will experience physical arousal and likely feel appropriate pleasure from sex when touched in a way that feels good to them personally. Asexuality isn’t the lack of sexual functions, it’s the lack of sexual attraction only, and sex can be present without specific attraction. For example, a sex positive asexual might have a what appears to be a quite active sex life for other reasons than attraction solely; emotional bonding, physical pleasure, relaxation and fun are just some reasons to like sex, even with the “kicker” being gone from the act.

The lack of sexual attraction doesn’t automatically mean a partner is undesirable to an ace - it just means they aren’t specifically attractive in that certain way. Other motivations may take over, or they may not.

Wow, thank you for this! Posts like these are really helping me to understand asexuality a lot more, and I am super appreciative of that.

A FUCKING MEN

I’ve heard a good analogy about this: Being an asexual and having sex is like not being hungry but eating anyway. You don’t feel the physical desire to eat, but that doesn’t mean your body is incapable of chewing, swallowing, and digesting food. Asexuality is a lack of sexual desire, not a lack of ability to engage in sex.