thebalancearc:

whats ur sign and ur opinion on sleeping naked

roxys:

Aries: And he was wearing reading glasses to show that time had passed.

Taurus: Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken!

Gemini: Shut up! You’re all gonna die. 

Cancer: Top three colleges? I thought I would be dead in a trunk.

Leo:  I try to stay optimistic, even though I must admit, things are getting pretty sticky.

Virgo: Just raise your hand and be like “I think Emily Dickson’s a lesbian!” and they’re like “Partial credit”

Libra: My wife is a bitch and I like her so much.

Scorpio: 13-year-olds are the meanest people in the world.

Sagittarius: There is a horse loose in a hospital!

Capricorn: Something happened here. You hope it’s a miracle, but probably not.

Aquarius: I’ll keep all my emotions right here. And then one day I’ll die.

Pisces: I am damp all the time. I am damp now and I will be damp later. Like the back of a dolphin, my back.

down-with-terfscum:

hatchetsandscars:

yaoilover6969:

grimthetransman:

empress-feferi:

Reblog with your sign, eye color, and orientation

Taurus, Green, and Pan ace

Gemini (born on the cusp) hazel with gold, pan polly.

Taurus, grey/green/blue (?? Still dunno), queer/pan

Cancer, green, bi demiflux

leo, blue, pan/enby

mlewl:

hey reblog this with your zodiac sign and tag with whether you pronounce gif as “gih-f” or “jiff”

2blue:

reblog & put ur zodiac sign and who u main in mariokart for. survey purposes

yugenpharaoh:

infamously-exhausted:

aries: the definition of a fuckboy but they actually have a soul. literally don’t give two shits about the haters and are some of the most loyal friends i’ve ever encountered. have very sudden growth periods. super dedicated to anything they put their mind to. ALSO OH MY GOD SO GOOD WITH THE TONGUE 

taurus: very eccentric, don’t really know how to deal with emotions. get flustered easily but it’s kinda cute. dreamy demeanor. will ignore the hell out of u if u fuck them over. are lowkey terrified of everything but will probs never admit that as they have some weird element of ego tied into that. 

gemini: really chill people when u get to know them but will scare the shit out of u for like six years if u don’t approach them. do not fucking piss them off as they will butcher yo ass with their tongue and hang u up for the rest of the world to see. probably has daddy issues. writers. really physically attractive and everybody is intimidated as fuck by it. dumb as hell in terms of love and will flirt with you incessantly. REALLY FUCKIN GOOD WITH THEIR HANDS LIKE DAMN. 

cancer: big hearts. fuckin adorable little water signs that are likely drowning in a puddle of their own tears. do not know how to fucking flirt to save their lives. their laughs are kooky as hell and i love it. probably smoke weed. u either love ‘em or want to kill them or are in some poorly balanced inbetween.

leo: okay y’all needa settle down a bit. fragile fuckin egos if i’ve ever seen ‘em and react hardcore if u piss them off. pretty over the top with everything. but damn, are some of the most hopelessly romantic motherfuckers i’ve met. will treat you like a fucking god(dess) if u let them. not super good at social cues tbh. good friends to have if u need to be validated. need quality time. 

virgo: y’all are lowkey hoes and give no fucks about it and it’s fucking great omfg. despite that, they maintain an endearing innocence and can be childish af when things don’t go their way but will love u until the end of time. great taste in music. super fucking smart but don’t show it off too often. 

libra: jesus christ okay i love u guys. super understanding and will always try to see all sides of a situation. probably have been through a lot. aren’t afraid to call u on ur shit and are lowkey emotional shawtys that are still trying to find themselves. make really wonderful parents. get crazy excited over little shit and it’s fucking adorable. 

scorpio: don’t fuck with these hoes unless u know urself first. will expose the parts of urself that u didn’t want to see. super gnarly in fights and will love u until the end of time. pretty standoffish and need time alone when emotionally unstable. keep themselves in amazing shape. are the loneliest fucks i know; be kind to them always. are probably in great shape (physically.)

sagittarius: craziest mofos out there. abandon all emotions before going into a situation and can be super impulsive. funny as fuck and always seem to be on another level. push themselves to the limit and usually forget to give themselves a break. ambitious and can get shit done when they need to. 

capricorn: talk about a ride or die. y’all are loyal to the grave and are incredible friends. until u get fucked over. will probably make ur enemies’ life a living hell, sometimes over-the-top about it. can be v athletic. good writers/artists. really interested in spirituality and the ethereal realms. u guys know what to do in bed and flirt hard af. also so fucking funny oh my god. 

aquarius: amazing friends. probably hate u. easily excitable. space cadets 4 life. rly good with animals and love food but probably restrict their eating habits in one way or another. a paradox in that they are fucking driven as hell to get shit done but give zero fucks at the same time. lowkey kinky af. want to kiss everyone. 

pisces: emotional shawtys through and through. physically attractive as hell. not good at romantic relationships. won’t forget about u for a million years. keep their friends close but will push u the fuck away if they get scared. insecure and just want u to stick around.

Stop fucking reading me!

mightwing:

reblog this with your zodiac sign and your opinion on candy corn

nuclearsweetheart:

Put your Hogwarts House, your Pokemon Go team, and your star sign in the tags

zodiacmind:

Aries: Werewolves- also known as Lycans legend has it that they were a race of people who could purposely turn into larger-than-normal wolves, but some stories differ saying that it was a curse that turned a human into a half-man/half-wolf monster without his consent during a full moon. 

Taurus: Dryads- also know as wood nymphs dryads were extremely beautiful and were literally the spirits of the trees. Legend has it that if the tree they were from died so would they. Love of nature, and an extremely strong tie to their home/roots nothing screams Taurus more. 

Gemini: Fairies-Small magical creatures often depicted with butterfly, or insect wings. Are known to be small in stature and mischievous in nature. They cannot lie but they have been known to be very persuasive with their words. 

Cancer: Sirens- Not to be confused with mermaids the original sirens had wings, but they lived by the sea. In some legends they were beautiful women who sang sailors to the rocks and drowned them, in other stories the sang them to the rocks to devour the sailors themselves. 

Leo: Nephilim-The offspring of humans and angels in some stories they are giants, who are taller, stronger and dumber than most humans. In other stories they are beautiful/handsome creatures with retractable wings of ether, known for their passionate and ruthless behavior. Strong , handsome/beautiful, vain, and addicted to luxury sounds pretty Leo to me. 

Virgo: Elves-magical creatures that often live apart from society, but have been know to both help and hinder humans. They are ageless peaceful and very beautiful. They live by their values, and value logic above all else. 

Libra: Sylphs- Also known as air elementals they are known as the protectors of beauty and the promoters of vanity. They are said to protect the looks of those they favor. They are also responsible for the formations of the clouds.

Scorpio: Vampires- these beings are said to be very hard to resist and emanate a powerful attractive aura. They can’t force anyone to do anything but they are very persuasive and it takes a strong person to say no. Dark, sultry, and sexy.

Saggittarius: Centaurs-Half-human/half-horse Centaurs are the physical representation of logic over animal nature. They are great teachers and philosophizers, but they are also compelled by a lusty physical animal nature. 

Capricorn: Satyr-The half-man/half-goat known for its sexual nature. As Dionysian animals they believed that every physical pleasure was made for them and often enjoyed all of them in excess. As they got older however some believe Satyr grew more sober taking on the responsibility of preserving the wild. 

Aquarius: Androids-part human part robot they are more attractive, more intelligent, and stronger than humans. However they are emotionally inept and lacking in areas of creativity. they are also known to get sick of the error of humans and revolt from time to time. Intelligent, un emotional, and revolutionary. 

Pisces: Mermaids- half-human/ half-fish and the subject of worldwide folklore. Mermaids belong to the sea and our seen as more spiritual than humans. they have hauntingly beautiful voices, but generally don’t have a need to kill humans. Beautiful, ethereal, and untouchable.

Source: Unknown

starry-nights-and-coffee:

wolffenstien:

shybat:

*romantically calls you dude*

*platonically calls you babe*

Romantically calls you dude: Aries, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Gemini, Capricorn, Virgo

Platonically calls you babe: Taurus, Leo, Libra, Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer