hobbitsaarebas:
fabulousworkinprogress:
micchi-monster:
bpdzoldyck:
A note on the topic of trauma that I personally found helpful in accepting the idea that I am a trauma victim is that one of the most widely accepted facts in the field of trauma research is that abuse is often not the common factor in whether somebody will develop ptsd.
Many people can go through awful things without developing trauma based disorders as long as they receive compassion and support in processing those events as they happen. The most common factor in developing something like ptsd is emotional neglect. And emotional neglect on it’s own can be enough.
Whatever you went through was enough I promise, you’re not overreacting. Abuse and neglect are traumatic at any level, you don’t need to have gone through the worst possible experience you can think of to develop ptsd. If it hurt you then it hurt you.
…..oh.
And to support that, the number one determining factor on how badly something affects a person is how they’re treated afterward, not how objectively bad the event was. They’re called resiliency factors.
It looks like this:
Horrible brutal traumatic event + Family and community support + legal amelioration + closure and therapy and help
ONE MILLION TIMES MORE LIKELY TO RECOVER THAN
Event that the sufferer may think “seems minor” compared to what others have been through + Family neglect and abuse (you deserved it, name calling, support the abuser) + no legal means + denial and stifling and no therapeutic support
I have been raped, I have been abused by someone who was supposed to be family to me, and I have recovered and gotten my life back together. I have psychiatrists, psychologists, best friends, lovers, and family who support me. I did not get legal justice, but I got the person(s) out of my life.
My friend was repeatedly verbally abused by his step-parent, and when he was abused and hurt by others he was blamed for it by that parent. He had no support and no one to talk to about it for over 10 years.
He still feels guilty for even being affected by it and I’ve had long talks with him about how it isn’t “nothing compared to” what I went through.
You are not wrong to be upset. You are not wrong to feel the effects of trauma. Your hurt cannot be measured against anyone else’s. Your resiliency is your own and your situation is valid to you. Perception is everything. The worst thing that ever happened to you might ostensibly be less bad than the worst thing that ever happened to me - but it still is what happened to YOU.
Trauma is so predictable that we can make tidy little equations out of it. The ones above are good, but the ones I’ve seen are a little simpler. Something like:
Overwhelming Experience + Isolation + Shame = PTSD
To those of abusive childhoods:
absolutely-walnuts:
No, you are not manipulative, selfish, cold, uncaring. You are not hateful pathetic, self-pitying.
You’ve been taught to think of yourself as a far worse person than you are.
You’ve been taught to deprive yourself of good things.
"Resisting your abusers is not abuse. Talking back to your abusers is not abuse. Screaming and fighting back to save yourself is not abuse. Trying to escape from them is not abuse. Calling them out is not abuse. Hurting them is not abuse."
only if you had tremendous amount of power over them, it could be called abuse, but in that case, they would never dare to abuse you in the first place because their life would depend on you, and not the reverse. You do not have the power to trap or abuse them, and if they pretend otherwise, they’re lying. (via
furiousgoldfish)
Humans are Space Orcs
forgottenmaiden:
I jumped onto the train for awhile now but now I have to contribute to it in some way.
Teens.
I ain’t talking about the stereotypical teens that adults always talk about, I’m talking about the dorks that still laugh at the iCUP joke.
But like…aliens don’t know how teens are because all they have heard from adults is how stupid and immature teens could be.
“Their rebellious and they won’t appreciate a single thing you do for them.” Human Rachel growled. “I wouldn’t want them as part of the crew.”
“But were you not a ‘teen’ once yourself?” Srytx gurgle, slightly confused.
“Exactly.” She huffed. “So I know how they work. Take it from me, teens aren’t what you want Srtyx.”
From the little warnings the adult humans have given the aliens makes them all worry as inevitably they are forced to harbor the human teens as well.
There were many things Gypr was afraid of, but this had his pelt flash blue in worry. If the humans were warning them about their own kin was not something that stirred well in his glands.
He shook his head and walked into the room that harbored the teens and two adults.
Some were as small as 4 ft while others simply towered over most adults. They all seemed dissinterested, some of the females talking in a corner while the males were being annoyingly loud. There were groups of mixed genders and others with only a single gender.
Gypr let our a shrill whistle between his fangs causing the humans present to turn to him. The two adults looked severely unconfortable which was understandable, his species did not give off peaceful vibes they were predatory by nature.
“Welcome humans,” Gypr announced. “Human adults will you please go in through that door they have a conference there for the human adults alone. Many of our other humans have said it is best to seperate the youth from them.”
The two adults nodded and turned to give biting glares at the teens. Some payed close attention while the other sniffed and turned away.
“Don’t cause trouble.” The human male growled before they both walked off into the room.
Gypr was slightly confused, they were not very friendly with each other.
As soon as the door closed, Gypr was able to see something…odd.
The loud teens from before continued to make and Crack jokes which eased some of the teens within the group. They positioned themselves to be more of a circle rather than the scattered mess they were in before.
The girls glanced around almost disinterested, but Gypr could see that they were looking for something.
Two teens stepped forward, one a male and the other a female.
The male bowed while the female gave a nod of her head.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” The male smiled when he rose.
“Sup dude.” The female echoed. “I’m Angel and this is my friend Stan, we were informed that you’d be helping us out till we moved onto another ship?”
“Yes of Course I am Gypr,” the alien hummed. “I was told by several humans that you do not obey simple rules, I must inform you that anyone that breaks the rules will be punished by the other humans as the captain sees fit.”
“Oh the adults told you that hu?” Human Angel snorted. “Of course they would, stupid ass adults don’t know what the hell their talking about.”
“What my friend means,” Stan interjected. “Is that we understand the implications given, and I assure you no one in our crew will step out of line.”
Gypr, slightly confused, nodded. He started to walk, knowing that the humans would follow.
“Hey Gypr,” Human angel raced to stand next to him. “I have a few questions, and I was hoping you’d be able to answer them.”
“Of course anything you need Human angel.”
Angel stood in front of him stopping them from moving any further.
“You are going to show us our rooms right?”
“That was the plan Human angel.”
“Are we going to be situated with any of the adults?”
“Yes unfortunately we do not have rooms for every single person, so we Andre forced to compromise. Their are ten people to a room Human angel.”
“Are we allowed to choose who we go with and who goes with the adults?”
“The captain nor the humans malentioned any rooming arrangements so I assume it is fine, unless situated otherwise. There are 30 of you we have two open rooms for 10 each but the others will be scattered with human adults.”
Gypr was expecting anger and fighting amongst the group. But Human angel and human Stan only nodded.
“Okay that’s good,” Human Stan grinned. “Are we forced to do any activities with adults?”
“No, adults mentioned that they would not get any work done with younglings like yourself in the immediate vicinity, so you will not interact with any adults unless you so desire.”
Gypr was surprised when about eight of the teens sobbed in relief, earning pats and hugs from their other humans. Gypr surprise and confusion must have shown as Human Stan came to explain.
“Some of us have had bad run in with adults, they treat us like kids and in turn brush us aside, however their are a few of us who have been wronged by adults and we wish to keep them as far apart as possible.” Human Stan explained. “Adults categorize us a certain way because they believe that they know what is best despite us being perfectly capable of making our own decisions. Not all of us are like that, but in my group we try our bests. Please exuse me and angel as we wish to comfort our friends.”
Human Stan bowed again before racing off to hold one of his shaking male friends.
“Human Angel, I was unaware that Human Adults did not treat all you’d fairly.” Gypr was slightly horrified.
Angel shrugged.
“Trust us, some of us were the same way. It took forever to realize what’s wrong with our crew, and we can’t really do much about it either. There are a lot of humans that do not understand the precious life that we hold and will often abuse it as they wish. It is not only human adults who do this, but Human elderly, teens and children as well.” Human Angel sighed miserably, a sound that Gypr was told teens do not make. “Everything is so jacked up Gypr, but we learn to deal with what we have. I promise you we will try our best to not cause any trouble but please note that if push comes to shove we will probably be yelling at the other human adults aboard. It is not out of rebellion but we are all tired of the way we are treated arena as such arguments happen.”
Gypr stood staring at her with his three eyes, he would need to update the manual on human teens.
He stood staring as the human teens eventually calmed each other down and we’re ready to start moving once again.
“You have not mentioned to called you only by name Human Angel and Human Stan, most other Humans are irritated by being called Human before their name.” Gypr rumbled as they stopped for lunch.
“Not all of us are like that.” Human Stan supplied. “But if it makes you feel more comfortable calling us that way, by all means go ahead. Just remember some human won’t always appreciate the way you speak.”
Gypr looked down as his meal, his pelt flashing green as he calmed himself.
Human teens were most mesmerizing.
