My name is Carrie. I’m from Nashville, TN and I was 18 when I had an abortion. My entire extended family called me a baby killer. My mom held me and cried and prayed and spoke in tongues and begged for the devil to give back my soul. My aunt called my cell phone repeatedly and harassed me on the way to the clinic. My father begged God to forgive me for murdering a poor innocent soul.
The doctors at the hospital were not permitted to give me any information on abortion clinics. They were actually required to “congratulate” me and book appointments for ultrasounds 4-5 weeks out. Planned Parenthood was even required to council me for a week before I “made up my mind”. At the actual abortion clinic, I wasn’t allowed to be fully sedated because they said “they want you to be fully aware of what you’re doing”.
I felt so alone and shamed. But I didn’t understand the convoluted bullshit even back then because I thought having an abortion is “killing a baby” as much as shooting a load of your sticky white goo all over my tits is “killing a baby” as much as pulling out is “killing a baby” as much as birth control is “killing a baby”.
There shouldn’t have to be “a good reason” for someone having an abortion. It shouldn’t take “The pregnancy could damage me” or “I am homeless” or “I was raped” to be ‘a good reason’ to have an abortion.
You have an abortion because you fucking want to. Hands down. You don’t have to try to validate your choice to anyone, even your parents, or your boyfriend or husband. It’s your fucking body and your fucking business.
And by the way, never once have I ever regretted it. I’m still so proud of myself for doing it. I was brave. My boyfriend at the time was brave. He supported me and even split the whopping $600-$700 abortion bill with me. We paid it out of our own pocket while waiting fucking tables at Waffle House.
10 years later and I haven’t really ever told my story because, again, it was nobody’s business but mine. 10 years later and my now ex-boyfriend is now my best friend in the world and one of the closest friends I have.
But my heart goes out to ANYONE who gets pregnant and scared of what others might think. Please be brave. Make the choice that is right for you. Fuck all the other voices trying to drown out your own. Much love. Inbox me if you ever need any support.
my abortion story