You know I bet the reason found family stories are so popular with aros is because we all subconsciously want to vicariously live out the fantasy of having a group of people who are committed to supporting and spending time with us
Bitch get some friends
Bitch you volunteering?
To clarify further: This post isn’t about not having friends. This is about the fact that there’s a certain level of commitment and intimacy that, in our society, people rarely apply to friendships. There’s a reason the trope is called found family and not found friends.
A friend might be a classmate you get along well with, or someone you met at an event who has the same favorite TV show as you, or your buddy you swap memes with, or the guys in your anime club. And that’s nice and all, but the relationship doesn’t often go much deeper than that.
Potentially living together, sharing your deepest thoughts and insecurities, supporting each other closely when you’re sick or hurting, sticking together no matter what even if someone changes interests or stops attending an event… Those are things that people generally reserve only for romantic partners, or in some cases immediate family members. Friendships only very rarely get these kinds of relationships, and for aromantics, that can be really damaging.
Yes, believe it or not, I have friends. A lot of aros do. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t lonely, or don’t feel like we’re missing something in our lives, because it’s absolutely not just a simple matter of “make some friends lol”. Found family stories represent an idealized life that many of us may never get to have, and it’s pretty rude and dismissive to make fun of that.
It makes me so happy that I find stuff like this floating around now, however rare. I’m not used to actually seeing stuff on romance/relationships that’s relatable w/o it being pushed as a joke, and I’ve literally had my mind set on a found family dynamic for my life since I was like 12. It was poorly formulated in my head back then, and it makes me painfully introspective at times, but now I’m finding words for it. So thanks~ 👏🏻
I’ve had people ask me about QP relationships and what sets them apart from friendships and romantic relationships. This post sums it up pretty well.
still seems like best friends to me @pitviperofdoom or at least what a best friend should be. I just don’t think you need a new term for it
If it’s not something that resonates with you, or something you feel is necessary, then that’s fine. That just means it’s not for you. But that doesn’t mean you get to tell the people who do find it meaningful that they’re wrong.
You don’t need a new term for it. But there are other people, myself included, who do. It costs you nothing to respect us, and let us have that.
