heyfightme:

heyfightme:

heyfightme:

Maybe the gayest reaction I’ve ever had to something was when I was like 14 and reading ‘Twilight’ for the first time, and when Bella first said she was in love with Edward I was like, “what the fuck. Since when? He’s your friend.” I legit thought she was interested in him out of like,,,,,,, professional curiosity smh

I’m gonna write ‘Twilight’ fanfic in which Bella is a lesbian and Edward is gay, and they’re best human/vampire mates who solve murders together. I’m going to change all the character names and publish it under the title ‘Blood Buddies’.

[not]Bella: I know things were probably pretty dire in the 1800s, sex-wise, but you could’ve… I don’t know, been an Oscar Wilde boy toy. You’re pretty enough.

[not]Edward: Do you enjoy this? Do you enjoy causing me pain?

[not]Bella: …you’re the oldest twink in the world. How does that feel?

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