Anonymous: give us some barnacle facts

slumbermancer:

slumbermancer:

myrianmaye:

slumbermancer:

SOME BARNACLE’S FACT

  • There’s barnacles.
  • They got shells.
  • They got cement glands.
    • They are full of cement.
      • They are not full of cream.
  • Some times the shell makes it hard for them to FUCK!
    • “Barnacles probably have the largest penis to body size ratio of the animal kingdom.”
      • I don’t like that.
  • Some times they live on walls or big pillars.
  • Some times they live on whales.
    • Sometimes the whales don’t like it. But sometimes they don’t care.
      • Do you like whales? I like whales. 
      • Whales are not full of cream. Whales are full of magic.
  • They got NO heart and NO gills but I THINK they got souls.
    • I think they got bum also.
      • It wasn’t clear.
    • They got eye.
  • The babies are like little larvae that swim about until they get old and find a nice spot. Then they go to this nice spot and they think “hmm, that’s a good spot. i,m going to make cement here.” 
    • I think that’s right.
      • It wasn’t clear. I didn’t look into it much though.
  • They look silly when they’re enjoying a snack.
  • There’s this kind called Goose Barnacles, or sometimes Gooseneck Barnacles, and they’re called that because they anchor on to things using these big meaty tubes that look like goose necks.
    • They’re also called that because in the Old Days people used to think they would transform into geese, or that geese would pop out of their shells, & that’s how geese are made.
      • I wish that was how geese are made. I think that sounds delightful.
      • Geese are not full of cream. Geese are full of grease and rage.
  • Snails eat them a lot.
  • Fish eat them.
  • Limpets eat them.
    • Don’t know what a limpet is.
  • Crabs eat them.
  • Sea stars eat them.
  • I used to think seals eat them but I guess not?
    • Do you like seals? I like seals.
      • Some seals are full of cream.
  • You could eat some barnacles, if you want.
    • But only some of them.
      • If you want.
    • You are probably not full of cream.
      • I hope?
      • But you COULD be full of barnacles.

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