westfailia:

afloweroutofstone:

I’d like to extend my deepest thanks to deathwombcatechesis for showing me a study by Tatu Westling of the University of Helinski: “Male organ and economic growth: does size matter?” (apologies for the gendered title). The study notes a connection between the average penis size of a nation and said nation’s GDP growth rate. 

I’d like to apply the results of the study to the United States of America to estimate what concrete benefits a potential change in average dick length may yield.

According to the study, GDP maximization size is 13.5 centimeters (5.31 inches), with GDP growth shrinking on either side of that. The paper above also states:

…the average growth rates from 1960 to 1985 are found to be negatively correlated with the sizes of male organs: unit centimetre increase in its physical dimension is found to reduce GDP growth by 5 to 7% between 1960 and 1985.

For reference: the average American erect penile length is 14.15 centimeters (5.57 inches). Because correlation equals causation (as has been well established by the economics community), a reduction of approximately 0.65 centimeters (0.26 inches) in the average American’s penis length would yield a GDP growth increase of 3.25 to 4.55% over 25 years (equivalent to the time period of 1960-1985). Trading Economics estimates that U.S. GDP will be $17.602 trillion in Q4 of this year. Therefore, a national average penile length reduction of ~0.65 centimeters would yield an additional $572.07 to $800.89 billion in gross national product over the next quarter-century. 

Assuming the applicability of Okun’s law, this would translate to a 1.63 to 2.28% decrease in unemployment. (100(572.07/17602) = 2*Δu = 3.25; 3.25/2 = 1.63 for the low-end estimate, 100(800.09/17602) = 2*Δu = 4.55; 4.55/2 = 2.28 for the high-end estimate). Because America’s civilian labor force currently consists of 155,862,000 people, a 1.63-2.28% increase in employment would create 2.54 million to 3.55 million jobs over 25 years.

Conclusion: In a ceteris paribus scenario, shrinking America’s average dick by 0.65 centimeters in length would boost our GDP by approximately $572.07-800.89 billion dollars and create approximately 2.54-3.55 million jobs over 25 years. 

Policy recommendation: universal mandatory penile reduction through surgery by 2017. A progressive length reduction chart for varying present lengths can be established upon review of the marginal utility of penis size. Surgery costs for dick-owning individuals could either be provided universally, or required of personal individuals, with those under 500% of the poverty line subsidized by Medicaid or an alternative medical subsidy (in accordance with the decision of NFIB v. Sebelius).

Further work could be done on the fiscal multiplier of penis reduction surgeries and the potential social welfare, productivity, and migratory impacts of making such operations mandatory in order to assist in determining the exact impacts that the above policy could have. Additionally, work could be done on whether or not the employment impacts would lower the unemployment rate below the NAIRU and analyze the inflationary impacts if so.

 Edit: fixed the math and edited a bit of the content.

this is the greatest post i’ve ever seen brett i understand economics fully now

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17. eminator1146 said: Except correlation =\= causation…
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