The year is 2022. You’re driving home from work, wifey calls & asks you to get some diapers for the baby. You grab roses for her. Life’s good. She’s crying in the closet you forgot the diapers what’s she gonna do with roses idiot there’s shit everywhere this is why your parents never loved y
The year is 1351. You’re driving your ship home from work, wifey calls and sends you to the local store to get some rags as diapers for the baby. You grab a bouquet of flowers for her too. Life’s good. You both die from the plague
The year is 2020. You’re driving home in your tractor after voting for Trump, the man of your people. Your sister calls and asks you to get some diapers for the baby you bought from the Walmart parking lot last week. You steal roses for her on your way out. Life’s good
The year is 2068. You’re staring at the most beautiful stranger. She explains to you that she’s your wife. You have dimentia. You smile and take her hand as your grandchildren jump around the room. You’ve lived a good life. Suddenly you’re staring at the most beautiful stranger
Anyway I’m back on my bullshit
The year is 2019. Your fiancé just got you roses in your big house with 3 cars and 5 dogs. You did all this to tweet it with “We’re only 19, what are you doing with your life?” You got 5 retweets. He’s been buying roses instead of food for weeks. You can’t cook. You haven’t eaten in 3 days
The year is 2018. You’re scrolling through Tumblr and you see a post by none other than thebootydiaries. “Goals”, you think to yourself. Yes, this was it. What you’ve been waiting for. Your entire life has led up to this. Your fingers shake as you type your comment. “Goals.” You hit reblog as you’re trembling, the chair squeaking ever so slightly. “I can’t wait to forget diapers, and have dementia.” You sigh. “And buy a house, dogs, and cars. And…and…” goosebumps race through your entire body. “And get the plague.”
lvsskickerlynch liked this
whatwouldqueenmerado reblogged this from thebootydiaries
somestrangetransdude liked this apollothegaysungod reblogged this from asheoki
cedrictheperipatetic liked this
ybb4 reblogged this from thebootydiaries
jay-wells liked this
niggathatsunderyourbed liked this
badw0lfe reblogged this from itzmahboobeh
expired-horse-milk liked this
bookworm-2692 reblogged this from alyssumlovesthecosmere
thatoneaxiousnerd reblogged this from alyssumlovesthecosmere
alyssumlovesthecosmere reblogged this from highmarshall-azure
girlobsessedwithbooks reblogged this from highmarshall-azure
soforkingawesom liked this
omgitsbatgirl liked this
maysah-ss liked this
wanderlust-and-starrs liked this
hellgirllou liked this
sadsteverogers liked this
highmarshall-azure reblogged this from samwils-n
fabulousreaper reblogged this from samwils-n
garrygoodspeed liked this
samwils-n reblogged this from thebootydiaries
pugslikemybooks liked this
et-hoc-transibit liked this
milleniumren reblogged this from radicalbitch
radicalbitch reblogged this from llittlegrace
sxftexve liked this
bironman-stark liked this
thesearemyrandomthoughts liked this
trucktiger reblogged this from coto524
thepudgypriestess liked this
tabootri liked this
tylerrose103 liked this
cassar91 reblogged this from swatchdogs-andsodapop
guillemelgat liked this
theshadypenguin reblogged this from i-donotwantausername
swatchdogs-andsodapop reblogged this from coto524
earlploddington liked this
saggy-and-sophisticated reblogged this from i-donotwantausername