People easily mistake neurodivergent speech patterns and communication styles for run-of-the-mill pretentiousness.
I don’t want to get too specific right now, but a lot of people who are neurodivergent (namely autistic, but there’s lots of overlap) struggle with communication. To them, writing/typing may be far easier and more natural than speaking aloud, but it can still come off as unusually formal, overly precise, or more awkwardly structured than usual. Sometimes it’s interpreted as “pretentiousness” because it doesn’t have the same casual cadence many neurotypical writers may use.
This is especially insidious because it can be an abuse response. Excessive formalism is a sign that I’m stressed and feeling threatened - I was taught growing up that people will pounce on the slightest ambiguity in anything I say to attack or blame me, so under threat I’ll do my best to nail everything down and avoid any possible misinterpretation. (It doesn’t really work, but it’s a habit now.)
To respond by attacking the formality itself is a special level of evil.
There are also really subtle aspects of pronunciation – it’s not even an “accent,” just slight different in how sounds are formed – that may come off as “stuffy” or “pretentious” but may be related to underlying speech/hearing problems.
One example is hyper-articulation of /t/, where it’s always realized as a full oral stop even in words where it could be reduced. Like saying “butter” with a fully released /t/ instead of a flap or a glottal stop (budr, bu’r). Speakers may hyper-articulate /t/ for a lot of reasons, such as over-compensating for a speech impediment. But studies have shown that hyper-articulated /t/ comes off as (variously) prissy, effeminate, nerdy, intellectual or formal.
This kind of thing is very hard to control consciously without phonetic training, and it’s even harder to realize “Wow, I’m judging that person by how they release their /t/!” But being rude to someone who “talks funny” is never okay.
Yes! I’ve mostly grown into my voice, but all through my childhood and teen years I had a distractingly articulate “accent” that often sounded somewhat fake-British. I always attributed it to being “tongue-tied” until I got oral surgery at age 11 - before then, my tongue was partially immobilized and I had to work doubly hard to enunciate and just. Overshot my mark by a little.
I grew up with abusive teachers that would size on ambiguity, parents that were hard of hearing and my own audio processing problems and now I speak like a 30’s radio announcer trying to tell a joke over a terrible signal to people who don’t speak really speak my language.