Goethe-Institut did a web series a while back aimed at new arrivals in Germany and I like how it make sure to teach people that a lot of Germans are rude af
Well she’s obviously doing it wrong. You got to mumble “Guten Tag” in no one’s actual direction upon entering the waiting room. Then you don’t speak a word (you gotta grab a magazine though, because if you’re on your mobile people will find that asocial) until the doctor calls you and when you get back to retrieve your jacket you mumble “Auf Wiedersehen”.
If you say “Guten Tag” while sitting down it’s either because you’re passive-aggressively shaming the person you’re talking to for not saying “Guten Tag” (which is of course highly respectable, but weird if they did say it) or worse:
You’re trying to make small-talk.
See also: when entering a crowded bus, tram, subway or train, you do not say a single word. You look for an empty bench. If there are none, you will have a neighbour. You stop at an empty spot and mumble something like “tschulli-ng” or “s-nch-frei?” to the person occupying the other spot on the bench. You nod in an upward direction. They reply a mumbled “türlich” while vaguely looking somewhere near your face and moving their bag if neccessary. You sit down, nod gratefully, and keep your mouth shut for the rest of the ride. Neither of you wanted this. You wanted freedom. Don’t bother each other.
If an entire bench in front of you becomes available at the next stop, though, it is not the polite thing to free your neighbour and yourself up. No, you stay right where you are. The silent stranger next to you is your silent stranger now.
Welcome to Germany. This is how we express love.
None of these people are joking.
And if you’re the one sitting at the window and you want to get off at the next stop, you begin to loudly rustle with your bag whatever, because that way you can signal the other person that you need them to get up without having to speak to them.
In German-speaking Switzerland the general-purpose greeting when you enter a room is “Grüezi!” - greetings! - delivered in a sort of sing-song voice: “Groo-etsee”. If there’s more than one person you say “Grüezi mitenand!” - greetings one and all! - though I’m not sure if this cartoon is accurate…
Unless you already know the other person/people you’ll mostly just get a nod or a little grunt when you say it - they Grüezi’d already as they came in - but if you don’t say it you’re the Rudest Person In the building, city, canton, country or world…
In beerhalls and other places with communal-type seating, the mumbled “’st frei?” before taking a vacant seat also applies, but there’s an additional wordless greeting made by rapping the table-top with your knuckles, done when sitting down and also when leaving. A tap-tap is enough*, no need for “shave-and-a-haircut”.
(*Knocking the table or desk is also a form of applause at the end of
lectures and business meetings, when it goes on for as long as clapping would.)
This is German as well as Swiss, allows you to say hi or bye to strangers without interrupting their conversations, and apparently was an old superstition to acknowledge the woodland spirit who lived in the tree from which the table is made, and prevent them bringing bad luck.
It also allows you to say hi and drink beer at the same time…
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