inkfinale:

moriarty:

travis: daddy, what kind of music do you play when you’re getting pizzazz?
justin: [yelling] MY HEADPHONES ARE OFF! 
dad mcelroy: well, travis–
justin: i’m out of the goddamn room!
dad mcelroy: it depends on what you’re, uh–
justin: OUT! 
dad mcelroy: what you want to accomplish. if you want to extend the experience–
travis: uh-huh?
griffin: oh, no.
justin: [yelling in the background] you fucking stop that on my show - i built an empire, you will not destroy it!
travis: now, what if you’re trying to build a certain sexy atmosphere, daddy? what–
griffin: [losing it] OH GOD, don’t say daddy. if you’re gonna explore this goof, don’t say daddy.
justin: travis and dad can go on this venture. i’m OUT!
dad mcelroy: [citing several musicians, including barry white] 
justin: [wordless yelling in the background]
travis: now, what if you’re actually having sex with barry white?
dad mcelroy: you don’t actually do it with barry white.
justin: he’s DEAD! like ME!
dad mcelroy: you let him play in the background. yeah. ‘cause that would be a little creepy.
justin: [crying]
dad mcelroy: [says the word “climax”] 
griffin and justin: NO! GOD!
justin: i’m going out the window! this is a nightmare! 
dad mcelroy: well, there is a band called climax. there was also a climax blues band. 
travis: i see.
justin: there’s a– there’s a band called jefferson airplane and i wish they would hit me right now and kill me in their propellers. i wanna die. 
(…)
justin: you’ve never done it. it’s never happened.
dad mcelroy: obviously, i’ve done it three times. i had to - where would you have come from? 
justin: a star put a crystal under a cabbage leaf and i appeared! I’M A GIFT! 

@trashfirefallon