It’s really interesting, as someone who’s been on tumblr nearly 5 years, looking at the truly bizarre shifts in the way asexuals have been treated on here. like, I remember when i first became aware of there being an actual community of us in existence in 2014/2015 it felt like we were gradually being accepted as a legitimate part of the LGBT+ community. i mean there were positivity posts, reminders about “the A in LGBTQIA+ stands for asexual/aromantic(/agender on some posts) not ally” and genuine serious discussions about the problems with how sex and romance-centred society can be and the various ways this manifests negatively.
Things weren’t perfect but they were sort of moving in a positive direction and then at some point in, what was it? mid-2016? there was this shift towards either ignoring us or outright mocking us and shutting down all legitimate discussion of ace/aro issues in favour of Ace Discourse (which frankly amounts to nothing more than glorified gatekeeping bullshit). Like, the only widely shared Non-Discourse posts dealing with ace/aro people I saw for over a year were ones where either some young kid said something dumb and got flamed for it or else things like the “op is an aphobe :/” or “aphobe blocklist” memes, trivializing the very idea of “aphobia” to the point that I genuinely feel nervous and uncomfortable talking about the real issues i and other aro/ace people face. There has been this obnoxious explosion of passive-aggressive cynicism and dismissiveness and I’m starting to genuinely doubt my own memories because people so often act like the whole Ace Acceptance Movement just never fucking happened (or else dismissing it as MOGAI Hell or whatever) and then throwing around words like “ahistorical”
Seriously, the prevailing attitudes towards asexuality have become so toxic that all this caused me a massive crisis of identity over the past year to the point where I genuinely started internally questioning if asexuality even exists, if the issues we face even matter, if we’re all genuinely delusional, if my own identity is based on a lie . I’ve only just recently begun to shake that off and I feel like I’ve been gaslighted and manipulated into hating myself even more than I already did and I’m fucking TIRED of it.
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