matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll:

petteroes3:

I have observed multiple mutuals here under the age of 18 who are not allowed by their parents to cut/dye/bleach their hair or have piercings. Once upon a time I wasn’t allowed either, and I remember I never really understood why.

Whenever I asked “why not”, my mother would always reply “wait until you’re 18.”, which isn’t really an answer so I asked again; why not?
To which she finally replied (after an unnecessary hissyfit), “because you might regret it.”

Now I had my answer but the thing is, I didn’t see any problem with that. But to avoid any more hilariously aggressive confrontations- I waited. I turned 18 and I pierced my eyebrow, cut my hair short and dyed my hair bright red. And then green. And then pink. And then blue then green and turquoise and purple and orange and pink and then blue. I pierced my tongue and lips and belly button and everything was so fun and exciting because I was finally allowed to do what I was denied as a child.

But then my mother started crying, the poor soul didn’t know what to do. She questioned her parenting and blamed me for her depression and so on and so forth and I was still so damn confused about what the problem was! I had no problem getting a job, and when I joined the army I removed the piercings and temporarily dyed my hair a normal brown again like the responsible adult I was. When I went back to work/school I kept putting fun colors in my hair again and put the piercings back. I encountered exactly zero problems in my adulting, but still my mother was upset!

One day she explained to me that I was now too old to be doing this; she was afraid other parents would blame her for bad parenting and she believed that I should know better now that I was an adult.

Now…THIS IS A LITTLE WEIRD TO ME.

Because basically, my mother didn’t want me to dye my hair as a child in fear of me regretting it, and then as an adult I should magically know that i will regret it without having tried it and also I should be aware of the prejudice of other parents (which I never encountered) — which isn’t only extremely backwards logic but it also means in this case she’d rather seem like a good parent to other parents than to be a good parent for her child.

My mother knows better now; she has tattoos and bleached hair and doesn’t care but if her children and friends hadn’t normalized being a little different for her then she never would’ve changed her thinking.

Let kids put fun colors in their hair. Don’t make such a big deal out of such little things.

Hair grow out. Dye fades. Piercings heal up. Clothes wear out. Let your kid do what they want.

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