anarcho-tolkienist:

cydonianmystery:

anarcho-tolkienist:

PLEASE someone write a sample chapter of J.K. Stalin’s Harry Potter and the Economic Problems of Socialism in the U.S.S.R.

Hi my name is Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin and i have a big mustasche (that’s how i got my name) with grey streaks and red tips that reaches my cheeks and hard brown eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Superman (AN: if u don’t know who that is then get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Superman but I wish I was because he’s a major hottie. I’m a communist but my praxis is straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a general secretary, and I go to a palace called the Kremlin in Moscow where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventy). I’m a communist (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly stylish uniforms. I love military surplus stores and buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a brown combination cap with matching longcoat and brown leather trousers, a red tie, and brown dress shoes. I was walking outside the Kremlin. It was raining and snowing so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. Trotsky and Tolstoy stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

…keep going

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