Show Me a Dwarf Thief, & I’ll Show You a Dead Dwarf Part 2: Absolute Assholes

haiku-robot:

yourplayersaidwhat:

(The previous story can be found here: https://yourplayersaidwhat.tumblr.com/post/160539584926/show-me-a-dwarf-thief-ill-show-you-a-dead)

DM: So, you’re all about to enter an ancient underground passageways carved out by dwarves ages ago–

Summoner: So, it’s the Deep Roads, then?

DM: …Basically, yeah. And you know for a fact that dwarves have laid plenty of traps here before the place was evacuated.

Human Rogue: Oh boy… [Dwarf Skald], are you ready for sadistic dwarf traps part 2?

Skald: *sigh* Yup, let’s do this.

…

DM: Alright, you see steps leading up to this small alcove, it’s pretty dark to see without any source of light.

Rogue: …I’d like to check that.

Skald: I would rather we stay on the path.

Rogue: It’s not even a separate path, it’s a little hole in the wall, it should be okay. BUT, I WILL examine the steps as closely as possible, before walking up them.

DM: You don’t see anything out of the ordinary about these intricately carved steps. When you make it up to the landing, there appear to be fresco mural paintings up on the walls. Still hard to make out without a light source, though.

Skald: I cast Dancing Lights in the alcove, while keeping away from the steps.

DM: Alright, from left to right, the first painting is a picture of a thief.

Rogue: Oh, no.

DM: The second painting shows the thief trapped in a cage, and as soon as you register what that means, you see metal bars start to shoot out of the ground right behind you, about to separate you from the party.

Rogue: I jump back over the bars before they trap me in! (Successful reflex save)

DM: Okay, now that you’re on the outside, you now realize that there were no holes for these bars to shoot out of, meaning the entire platform was an arcane trigger, drawing metal from the earth below to create bars.

Rogue: Clever dicks.

DM: And now you see the subsequent paintings, showing the thief dancing with lightning, then burned with fire, then pelted by giant rocks, and then finally tarred and feathered.

Rogue: …[Skald], I’ve said it before I’ll say it again–

Skald: No, no, I know, my people are the worst, they’re absolute assholes.

skald: no no i know
my people are the worst they’re
absolute assholes

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
1 year ago / 741 
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