seizeashark:

fuckin… i was watchin the telly, right?

watchin… nae idea.

adverts come on and one of them is for some cheese spread thing called “the laughing cow.” and i thought… “that’s funny, imagine that. a laughing cow. a cow that laughs. imagine it. seriously… seriously dee dee… imagine you saw a cow that laughed. imagine you were walking down some country road one night, lost. and you stopped to see this cow wander up to the fence next to you. and then it got there, it looked you right in the eyes…. and laughed?”

anyway, it gets to the end of the advert, and that cow’s face fills the screen… guess what it does? it laughs. and i just thought, “right, i’m away for a pish.”

so i gets up and heads to the toilet. i was just ready to walk in and i thought “here, dee dee, how funny would it be if you opened that door and there was that mad laughing cow like “aha ha aha ha” for nae reason science could explain. its mad face just pure hovering about “hah ha ha ha?”

i thought, “not funny at all. cause i’d lose the fuckin plot. that would be me. all joking aside, i think that would be me for good. that would be me gone, man. i could try and explain it away, just say it was just a trick of the mind, but that would be like locking the stable door after the horse has bolted. cause i don’t think you come back from that kind of spectacle, naeb’dy does.”

i thought “dee dee, come on, take a joke. i mean, seriously, what’s the likelihood you open that door and…”

nah…

back into the living room. the toilet can wait. cause for now, just is nae worth it.