business email glossary
thanks in advance:
get this done by the time i press "send"
thanks for your interest:
why'd you have to bring this up
would you be so kind:
fucking do it
best:
i have never physically met you
all best:
this conversation is over
all my best:
i wish you would die
happy to help:
this is the easiest thing in my inbox
i hope this helps:
i've done all i'm willing to do
i did a bit of research:
i googled it, because you're too lazy to
sorry to chase:
answer my email
so sorry to chase:
answer my FUCKING email
i am really sorry for being a pest but:
i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
please contact my colleague:
this isn't my problem
i'm copying in my colleague:
this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it
i'll check and get back to you:
i might forget to
i'll let you know when i hear anything:
i will forget to
can you check back with me in a week?:
i'm hoping you will forget to
per our earlier conversation:
i just yelled at you on the phone
great to chat just now:
you just yelled at me on the phone
thanks!:
i'm not mad at you
thanks!!:
please don't be mad at me
thanks!!!:
i'm crying at my desk
please advise:
this might be your fault
kindly advise:
this is entirely your fault
mind if i swing by?:
i'm already in the elevator
can you confirm for me:
you told me before and i deleted the email
sorry if that was unclear:
i think you're an idiot
let me know if you need anything else:
please never contact me again
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