goblincourse:

So I’m hanging out in my apartment, I’ve got some candles lit, I’m feeling good, I’ve had eight glasses of wine.

Gotcha.

And down in the street I hear these two beautiful boys playing. They’re skateboarding, they’re doing flips or something. And one of them looks up at me and has the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen. Asian.

Beautiful.

And you know how I like a little Asian. Remember my date with Len?

Very well.

The point is I say “woohoo boys,” and they sort of look. The one who isn’t Asian is black.

T-th y- you don’t have t- this could be a color-blind story.

I wanna fill it with color.

Yeah but I’m just saying, there’s like a race problem in Hollywood.

And in America. A race-ISM problem.

I agree.

Well this story isn’t racist. It’s diverse. If everyone in it was white, -then- it would be racist, Caleb Gallo.

Y'know what? You’re right. Go ahead.

So the boys come up to my apartment and I’m wearing a robe. I’m -only- wearing a robe. And I say “why don’t you come in my boudoir and watch me do a monologue” and they say “where’s the bed?” and I say “this is the bed right here” and they say “can we sit on the bed” and I say “sure but these are expensive Japanese linen” and they say “but they’re not even soft” … and I say… “Sometimes… things that are expensive… are worse.”

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