Chris:
So how excited are you to see your little baby?
Victor:
Sooo excited...
Chris:
Oh I need to tell you about my night last night
Victor:
Ohh, tell me aaall about it...
Chris:
So I'm hanging out at my apartment, I've got some candles lit. I'm feeling good. I've had 8 glasses of wine
Victor:
Gotcha
Chris:
And down in the street I hear these two beautiful boys playing. They're skateboarding, they're doing flips or something. And one of them looks up to me and has the most beautiful face I've ever seen. Asian.
Victor:
Beautiful.
Chris:
The point is, I say "Woo hoo boys", and they sort of look. The one who isn't Asian, is black.
Victor:
Th-This- Y-You don't have to- This could be a colorblind story.
Chris:
I wanna fill it with color.
Victor:
Yeah, but I'm just saying it's like there's a race problem in Hollywood right now.
Chris:
And in America. A racISM problem.
Victor:
I agree.
Chris:
Well this story isn't racist; It's diverse. If everyone in it was white, then it would be racist, Victor Nikiforov
Victor:
...
Victor:
You know what? You're right. Go ahead.
Chris:
So, the boys come up to my apartment and I'm wearing a robe. I'm ONLY wearing a robe. And I say, "why don't you come in my boudoir and watch me do a quadruple flip?" And they say, "Where's the bed?" and I say, "This is the bed, right here." And they say, "Can we sit on the bed?" and I say, "Sure, but these are expensive Japanese linen." And they say, "But they're not even soft." And I say... "Sometimes... things that are expensive... are worse."
Victor:
Wow
Chris:
So anyway I sucked both their dicks
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