you deserving something doesn’t mean any specific person owes it to you

the-space-enby:

fierceawakening:

decepticonsensual:

fierceawakening:

neurodiversitysci:

jumpingjacktrash:

you deserve love. your crush does not owe you a date.

you deserve success. your coworkers do not owe you extra hours.

you deserve emotional support. your friends do not owe you free therapy.

what ‘you deserve this’ means is that it’s ok to want it and hope for it and try to achieve it, not that you have the authority to demand that a person provide it. it’s good to ask for it, but you have to be willing to take no for an answer.

Yes, well put. I wish all those lonely, resentful misogynist types on Reddit and 4chan understood this.

Yeah, this.

This is actually what I was trying to get at with the manipulation post.

A lot of the posts that go around saying “severely mentally ill kids don’t deserve to be lonely uwu” are actually very similar in internal logic to “no guy deserves the friend zone.”

No, no one deserves to be lonely! But it is no particular individual’s responsibility to solve this problem.

Which is why I personally think having a multiple-person support system is absolutely vital.

Because it enables you to go “Kishona is busy right now, or terribly sad herself. But I really can’t be alone right now! I know, I’ll text Dave and see if he can help.”

Just doing that has saved my ass so many times from so much misery, and also meant not heavily burdening one person.

Yes, absolutely, all of this!

I think this is also really helpful in cutting through the false dichotomy people sometimes fall into:  the idea that, “Either I am Bad and don’t actually deserve love/happiness/etc., or I do deserve it and therefore the people around me are Bad (shallow, mean, whatever) for not providing it.”

You deserve good things, and no one owes them to you.

Yes!

This is something I try to explain to a friend I know in real life who literally depends on me for everything - it is not one persons job to be your therapist, your caretaker, your problem-solver. Having friends and multiple contacts, is ridiculously important.

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