ayasmert:

“humans in space” but y'know, with actual australians

aliens holding goonbags for the humans who just ducked across the road to the intergalactic servo, and they sneak a mouthful. eugh, it’s worse than battery acid.

a memorial for xenologist s. irwin

“but the other humans said mate means …”
“righto, i’m gonna fill you in on a little conspiracy we’ve had going for centuries: nothing is out to kill us, we just let them think that so they leave us alone. also, we like messing with tourists.”

“alright, who nicked the milo rations? we’re not returning for another three years and i’m not eating bland ice cream”

“gazza!?”
—alien turns around and waves— “maaaaaate!”

“hey guys, we changed prime minister again!”
“does he eat onions?”

—giant alien beast staring explorers down—
explorers: *clicking their tongues* “c'mere, skip”

don’t bother asking for directions. it’s just past sol 5 and up the road.

“mr jennings, i’m telling you, weird things happen in lighthouses. maybe we shouldn’t mess with this one.”

somewhere, there’s a woman with purple hair, wearing a pink feather boa, greeting alien diplomats with “hello, possums!”

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