theonion:
“Theoretical Scientists Gather For 35th Annual Symposium To Try To Determine How Gas Nozzle Knows When Tank Is Full PASADENA, CA—In hopes of better understanding a phenomenon that has vexed researchers for decades, hundreds of theoretical...

theonion:

Theoretical Scientists Gather For 35th Annual Symposium To Try To Determine How Gas Nozzle Knows When Tank Is Full

PASADENA, CA—In hopes of better understanding a phenomenon that has vexed researchers for decades, hundreds of theoretical scientists have assembled at the California Institute of Technology for the 35th annual symposium on how gas nozzles know when a car’s tank is full, sources said Thursday.

The weeklong academic conference, which draws top experts in quantum physics, pure mathematics, systems theory, and numerous other scientific fields, will feature a variety of interdisciplinary panel discussions and collaborative workshop sessions, as well as dozens of presentations from theorists sharing their ideas about what kind of mechanism could possibly enable a gasoline pump to turn itself off at just the right moment and avoid spilling fuel all over the place.

“We’re particularly excited this year, because a team of computational chemists from Poland may have finally cracked the so-called Half-Full Paradox, which has long stumped scientists who have sought to understand how the pump knows when to stop fueling regardless of whether your tank is empty or still has some gas left in it,” said symposium chair professor Marian Reardon, explaining that early scientists who tackled this problem once believed nozzles operated on a timer, but later realized this theory failed to account for tanks that remained partially filled. “We’ll also discuss the pump’s apparent ability to tell whether you’re driving a compact car or a large truck and adjust the volume it dispenses to match the tank size, a complex and puzzling question that no one has yet been able to put forth a convincing theory to explain.”

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