universequartz:

here is the order of events

2 days ago:

• matt burnett makes a tweet saying “Hey, this is Matt, I have decided to let my 13 year old nephew David run my account, thanks, hope you enjoy his comedy stylings”
• david makes some innocent tweets like “math sux"

1 day ago:

• matt, underestimating david, apparently didn’t change his password after this incident
• david, the brilliant genius he is, changes matt’s account’s password so matt can’t get back in
• david starts posting amazing things like “deadpool should have been in suicide sqwad”
• david changes matt’s bio to “this was my uncle matt’s account but now its mine. memes for the win” which i would make my senior quote if i could go back in time

today:

• matt makes a new twitter account called Knock It Off David. he proceeds to make these two tweets, which are the highlight of 2016 for me tbh
• “@mcburnett DAVID THIS IS YOUR UNCLE, GIVE ME BACK MY ACCOUNT“
  
• “@mcburnett I am going to call your mom, I am serious, dude.“
  
• david, holding matt’s twitter hostage, lists off his demands. if these demands are fulfilled he will presumably give matt his twitter back. the demands are:

1. u will tell my mom u lied about me getting the suicide skwad skwad tattoo so she will unground me so i can see sausag party this weekdn
   
2. u will  take me to see sausage party this weekend
   
3. after suasage party WHICH WILL BE HILARIOSU u will take me to get a suicide skwad skwad tattoo on my arm like the actors after the movie
   

• matt replies “David, listen to me.  HELL NO.”
• the demands and matt’s reply happened about 2 hours ago and neither have tweeted anything since… i will keep u updated on further developments

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