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My parents got me this Trump doll as a gag gift over a decade ago when we were fans of the Apprentice.

Fun Super Tuesday activity: For every ten notes I’ll stick a pin in him until I’m out of pins. Don’t let me down America

Seems like Donald will wake up tomorrow with “stabbing” shoulder pains…

Right in the heart. That one went in easy. Like there was already a hollow space there.

Now in the stomach, like how I can’t stomach his fuckin bullshit

Let’s see you try to “pin” this on Mexican kidney thieves

Hearing no evil is hard when you’re Donald Trump and your mouth is a direct spigot from Hell’s pipeline of villainy

I believe we’ve pinpointed the source of his hot air.

Donald Trump is the arch-nemesis of liberty.

Woops, sorry about that D, looks as though I cut off your freedom of choice over your reproductive decisions

OK - I can’t keep up with the demand, and I’m running out of jokes and pins, so let’s skip to the good stuff. The inevitable conclusion where he’s just absolutely covered in pins.

This Donald is sure not having a Super Tuesday! :)

~~ Stretch goals ~~

800 notes - attacked by vicious alligator

1,500 notes - confronted with flagrant multiculturalism

2,000 notes - sent directly back to hell

Reached our first stretch goal… attacked by not one, but six vicious alligators. Don’t say I never gave you anything nice.

Well when I went to bed, this post was at around 900 notes, but suffice it to say I think many of us were hungry for Trump defiling action. Your heroic efforts made it possible for us to reach all of our stretch goals… and then some. 

Stretch goal 2: Confronted with flagrant multiculturalism

Oh no!! A more nuanced perspective!!

Stretch goal 3: Sent directly back to hell

It’s been a while since he stepped foot on his own turf. No need, as he’s already polling well there.

And finally, a very special stretch goal received in the askbox:

Y’all are starting to catch on that I have a lot of random stuff lying around, including, thankfully for this scenario, a dinosaur that eats people. We pulled Donald back from hell, now lightly toasted and ready for this last challenge.

The Donald thinks he’s “tough.” The bull t-rex hesitates, because the word he wants to use is “gamey.”

Thank you all for making the American dream come true. What an adventure we all embarked on together.