terezi-discourse:

I was going to make a post like “I wonder if there are dentists and orthodontists on Alternia” but like obviously there aren’t dentists like we have them here because there are no fucking adults and even if the homeworld does have a service economy it sure as hell doesn’t have dental professionals. Maybe in the Fleet there are trolls trained to perform dental care on higher-ranked trolls showing signs of decay, but on planet, baby trolls sure as hell aren’t brushing every day or getting braces, so what’s with the straight, pure white teeth in the comic?

Here’s what I’m currently thinking

• troll teeth are a little stronger and not as prone to fucking up and going the wrong direction and corroding than human teeth are 
  
• most trolls (read: Everyone but Gamzee) watches a schoolfeeding video early on about how fang brushing is important. It doesn’t do anything about crooked teeth, but they at least avoid extreme buildup, if they’re dilligent (lots of trolls aren’t)
• thankfully, sugar and sugary fruits are difficult to acquire substances, so trolls aren’t corroding their teeth at the same rates anyway. Only highbloods get to eat that shit, and post-Ascention they can easily arrange to get their cavities filled, so there aren’t many untreated cavities in the troll population
  
• for the most part, troll teeth slowly get worse throughout their time on planet, with small cavities and lots of crookedness developing until they get to the fleet.
• beauty standards regarding teeth are still a thing, because up until the Condesce pulled everyone off Alternia there were plenty of troll dentists, and there are still some in the Fleet, and therefore all the highbloods kids look up to and the cultural figures they see in books and movies have great teeth. Just because everyone around them has crooked, yellowing teeth doesn’t mean young trolls don’t feel bad about themselves in comparison to their idols
• in response to this, troll kids who live in urban centers actually do have some kind of economy, and there are enterprising young lowbloods who learn some rudimentary dental care from the internet and supplement their basic income with what they make dealing with people’s fucked up mouths
  
• Most significantly, Equius is proof that unlike humans, trolls can regrow their teeth if they’re lost, so there’s a significant population of hardcore trolls who don’t have to worry about chewing tough food that just smash their mouths with a brick and start over every time they get cavities
  
• trolls that are too fucking scared to smash in their own teeth they go to an unskilled dentist troll who does it for them
  
• this is done without general anesthetic obviously because trolls that are trusting enough to let some back alley tooth pulling troll knock them out don’t live very long. Some trolls even forgo localized anesthetic because they don’t trust the dentist not to be injecting them with something else
• in the fleet, braces are a huge status symbol and fashion statement, because they show you’re high enough status to command a real Fleet dentist’s time and secure enough in your power that you can hamper your ability to use your fangs in a fight. Highbloods usually get fancy gold braces with gemstones in them, real gaudy ridiculous stuff. The coolest admirals on the block are the ones with braces.
• Lowbloods who can’t use their fangs or eat without pain are pretty quickly marked for culling if it’s bad enough to impede their functionality, unless they have a highblood quadrant who’ll pay for them to get surgery.
• In conclusion: teeth

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